Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
