Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
