Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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