I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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