bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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