I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
