Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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