Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I think people are normalizing furries
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
