The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
