so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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