As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
