i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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