with your own penis?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
