They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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