lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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