Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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