I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
