babies were throwing up all over the place
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
