he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
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