I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
