yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
