Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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