Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
