Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
