The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
