Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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