Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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