Rock
Scissors
Fuck
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
