Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
