How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
