It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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