I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
