Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
