You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
