tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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