we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
NoShamevember. You game?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
