You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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