she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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