that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
