K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
