I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
