Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
