sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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