i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
do herpes really smell.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
