I think i peed on brittanys purse
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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