I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
