That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I take back everything I said about communal showers
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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