When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
