I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
