I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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