I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
