I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Let's get the cat blown out
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
