I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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