WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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