So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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