would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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