i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
There r osticjed everywhere
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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