THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
