We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
