just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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