Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
