; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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