life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he thought i was a dude.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
