i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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